Today as I spend time trying out paint colors on the house exterior in a semi-mad rush to find the one color I like best, I'm paying special attention to how much my mind pushes my body to serve it's purpose above all else. The mind really is a slave driver, if we let it. I've watched myself all day, and I catch myself in in slave mode dutifully responding to my mind's commands of "Hurry! Try another paint color. Come on, pick up the pace. Get as much as you can done in time for the painters as it's rock and roll time tomorrow...You don't really have to drink water yet, right? You can work a little more, jusssst a little more... Hey, wait a minute, who said you could stop...No bathroom break!" I have to constantly tell it to back the f$%k off. In fact, as I type this, I notice that I've put off some more of my body's needs; I need to drink lots and lots of water and eat a healthy lunch. Self-care. What a divine concept! I wish that we all will care more for ourselves, and treat ourselves more dearly... Even slow it down. Take a moment. Listen. Our health is precious and the work will always be there.
The more I grow into my sense of self, the more I realize how important it is for me to STAY in my body-- or go back into it if I've checked out for a while. Which does happen, more often than I wish. My body works so hard for me. It's so good to me. I long for a more embodied life. I want to offer my body more loving gestures of care and nourishment. I have great resources; I just need to practice them more devoutly. My hikes in Mama Nature are like medicine for my soul, and my body loves them, too. But I need more time doing body-centered things. Dance more. Maybe take my friend Erin up on her African Dance class offer. Maybe start Yoga up again. I'm giving myself permission to let myself stop what I'm doing and get into my body with something that I'm drawn to in that moment.
My work: I have to keep listening to the loving voice deep inside who reminds me to care for myself when I stray. "Why don't you take a moment to do some stretches. It'll feel sooooo good." And that voice is always right. Like a wise grandmother who is always watching, always caring, I need to give her more credence, take her more seriously. I need to listen carefully and lovingly to what she has to say, and to stop dismissing her. She's a wise old bird, and her voice is an integral part of me and has everything to do with my chances for becoming all that I desire in this life.
In this fast-paced world of "Get 'er done," I'm so grateful that she's there and caring for me. What's that? Oh yes. I think it's time for some fresh organic lemonade... And then, ooooh, maybe a nice long stretching session... in the garden. I could also take my feet for a walk on the trail. Hmmnn. The soles of my feet have been craving the raw earth lately... And there is always the delight of taking my body to Harbin for a soak...
Let your ideas of more body time tiddlywink you from mere whispers into concrete response, and eventually a more embodied you.
So my question to you is- what gesture of loving-kindness can you offer your body right now? Whatever it is, I hope you accept the offer.
1 comment:
Here is a comment I made to my post from 2009:
It is interesting to look back at my own posts and see what I was experiencing at the time. Reading this 2009 post from my time in Austin shows me how much I was trying so very hard to make 3000 things work well. All with an inauthentic happy face to mask the "Waaaahhhh! This-is-nuts!-feeling in my gut while I was riding that gnarly wave. I see now why I fried my adrenals and pulled my shtuscle... Live and learn.
I needed that hairy experience to see myself in that way more clearly, and I'm grateful for the learning. And very grateful that I'm able to bring my body's equilibrium helath back, too. I'm paying attention a little more, and will hopefully stop myself next time before I try and take on so much in so little time. My training is to jump in at 90 miles an hour, take on the world. But if I'm to accept RESPONSibility for how I create my life, I will choose not to do this to my Self again. With this deeper awareness, I give myself more permission to allow my Self to go at a slower pace each day. The mind races us from point X to point Y. Soul moves in Baby Steps. As a new friend, Jeff Brown says in his book, Soulshaping, "Growers are inchworms."
This is a good moment for me to recognize again, more deeply than I did the last time around, how important it is for me to honor my inner rhythms, no matter how slow they may be. It will take continual practice. One step here, another over there. The path to growth and self-discovery is not linear. It may look funny to others walking this way of truth stepping, but it's essential to walk in our own path if we are to reach the other side of each and every one of our soul treks. Journey on...but let yourself take those Baby Steps.
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